Sunday, November 29, 2015

Winter Vacation Blues

My husband and I are in the midst of a quandary. He wants to take a trip this winter and wants me to go with him. His goal is to escape Maine's frigid temps and frozen landscape and go lie on a beach somewhere tropical, sometime in late January. He thinks this sounds like fun. My problem is the deciding where, the getting there, and then the lying on the beach part.

The choices include St. John, St. Bart's, Puerto Rico, Barbados and all of the Caribbean. Mitch sees each one as a distinct destination, whereas I think they are all the same and promise nothing but a long layover at Newark airport followed by days of waiting for the elevator, boredom, wandering through trinket shops and sticky drinks with those paper umbrellas and a lot of pineapple.

Last night we tried to pin it down. One method we used was a test I found on the Internet to determine where to find the beach best suited to your particular needs. You are asked to choose the most appealing photo out of nine different ones for eight different questions, like "How do you want to spend your day?" and "What hotel looks best to you?" That sort of thing. I took the test and my answer was "A Royal Caribbean cruise." Then Mitch took the test and chose different things but got the same answer. Clearly it was an ad for the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line dressed up like a travel quiz.

I will not go on a cruise because bad things could happen. You could fall off the boat (or be pushed), get food poisoning, have your husband get seasick (a distinct possibility) or just be stuck with a whole lot of people you don't like but have to see day after day after day for like nine days.  Besides, I hate vacations. It's not like I work in a coal mine in West Virgina all year long and need a rest.

It's a new day and the problem remains unsolved.

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